Reading Routine Redux

Once upon a time, I had a certain plan in place to help me get through some of my books and to read widely.
I never implemented that plan and instead, my ADD and OCD get in the way, and I can't focus enough to start anything at times.

I am now reinstating that plan which is... to alternate reading 3 books at a time. One can be a nonfiction book about writing, one fiction novel (usually similar to my writing which is scifi), and one general nonfiction book. The non-writing nonfiction I have in mind is about Eastern religions or philosophy.

The only time I can stray from this is if I need to read books for research on my WIP.

Here are my 3 books I'm working on now:

Writing - How to be a Writer by Barbara Baig
Nonfiction - Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl
Fiction - Fools' Experiments by Edward M Lerner

Do you have some kind reading guideline similar to this? What do you think about this approach?

My Favorite Posts of the Week

The web is just teaming with such awesome information. Here are some of my favorite posts that I read throughout the prior week.

1. Why do your write?
http://wordplay-kmweiland.blogspot.com/2011/05/understandingand-acceptingthe-reasons.html

2. How Nathan Bransford writes
http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2011/05/how-i-write.html

3. Since I'm attending a conference in just a few days
http://writerunboxed.com/2011/05/02/how-to-be-a-conference-extrovert/

4. Stages a Writer goes through
http://blog.janicehardy.com/2009/05/all-worlds-stage_29.html

5. Writing from the Heart can be difficult
http://beyondthemargins.com/2011/05/koalas-blowback-and-ick-factor-why-its-hard-to-write-from-the-heart/

6. Don't Compare your Blog to Others
http://www.problogger.net/archives/2011/05/08/how-to-blog-without-comparing-yourself-to-others/

7. How much does GTD cost you?
http://us.lifehacker.com/5798202/the-cognitive-cost-of-doing-things

8. And from one of Blogathon's 2011 own: Believe by Susan
http://chainthewolf.net/2011/05/08/believe/

Writing Away Mental Illness

Battling OCD and ADD is a long war. You win some, you lose some. But it is a war worth fighting.  There are multiple lines of attack. You can try the medical management defense, which sometimes help. There are also time management strategies for ADD and cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD. But there is another weapon in the arsenal - the written word. After all, the pen IS mightier than the sword. Pun intended. 

The obsessions, although relentless and ravaging at times, can also help me as a writer. In a literal way. A group of obsessive thoughts may go like this: why can’t I see from another person’s perspective (both mentally and physically). Physically seeing something through some else's eyes is an impossibility (for now, at least) however, if I truly want to know something about someone, what better way than to describe them as a character.

I also obsess over occupations. My brain says “Why can’t I be in every occupation known to humankind?” This is an absurd thought, and I know it is not possible. Sure, when we are able to download information into our brains it will make it easier. But, until then, I’ll have to settle for normal research, and to carry that over into my fiction. While writing fiction, I can BE that other person. I can BE in that occupation. I can research to my heart’s content, although it may not satisfy that OCD beast. At least, it may quiet that SOB for a little while.

Sometimes, I think this is my subconscious telling me I need to get to work, already. How do I know this will work? Because it’s a game in my head and I’ve already seen the outcome. No, seriously. I need to get butt in chair and bang at the keyboard. Let it all loose. I think I will surprise myself. Like I said, I am a work in progress. I don’t have all the answers but I do know, writing is a catharsis, a release, if you will. These are not my only reasons for writing; I have many more. But it’s a pretty good motivational tool.

When I sit down to write, I have to force myself to think about one thing at a time, which is difficult to do with ADD. I consider it training time for my brain. It’s the only time when I have to slow my thoughts so that I can make at least SOME kind of sense.

How does writing help you? Do you feel a release of emotion when you write?

ADD and Me

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are considered developmental disorders, and remains a controversial topic. I just learned that ADD is now known as ADHD: Predominately Inattentive Type.

Symptoms that can occur with the Predominately Inattentive Type include:

·         Difficulty following conversations

·         Trouble finishing projects that have already been started

·         Avoidance of projects

·         Misplaces things at home and at work

·         Trouble starting single projects because of the many already started

I can attest to having all of these symptoms described above. I can have many things I want to do or read but find it so difficult to get started on any one thing. So, often I am sitting helplessly in my chair or pacing around in my efficiency apartment. Sometimes I become so frustrated that I’ll just lay on my bed, ball my fist up and pound away on the pillow.

My doctor started me on Ritalin last summer, and the first time I took it, I had such a great feeling of calmness surrounding me. I could actually read a paragraph. I’ve been on Ritalin since, but the effects wear down over time. I would try a timed-release version, but it’s too expensive, and even if I did have insurance, the companies wouldn’t pay because of my age.

One thing I have noted, however, is that since being on Ritalin, I’ve noticed my OCD quieting. Just a bit, but it does seem to help. When I told my doctor that, he admitted to me that that is a fairly common finding. Hey, I’ll take the benefits.

OCD and me

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental illness which manifests itself in many ways. There are almost as many ways as there are people who have it. Okay, I may have exaggerated a little. But there are many types of “burdens” in which the OCD sufferer is stricken with.  Some sufferers have thoughts of a negative nature that seem to come out of nowhere and for some reason the thoughts recycle in the persons mind. To overcome the guilt of those thoughts, they may act out a compulsory behavior such as praying for forgiveness or trying to take back the thoughts by repeating certain rituals. 

Other sufferers may feel that they are contaminated to such a degree that they must constantly wash their hands or whole body, sometimes bleeding in the process. Still others may keep stopping their vehicle and check to make sure that they have not run anyone over. 

The constant theme amongst OCD sufferers is a sort of doubt; doubt about their faith, cleanliness, safety. You name it. If you can think it, an OCD’er will come up with a way to doubt it. OCD is often known as the “doubting disease”.

I began to exhibit symptoms of OCD at a very young age, in the form of religious blasphemy. I had inappropriate thoughts about God, etc. I thought I may have been the anti-christ. How could I know I wasn’t? So, I prayed, and prayed… and prayed. I never did this in public because I was so ashamed of the thoughts that would not go away. 

When I was a teenager, I had counting rituals. I would say phrases and the last syllable would have to end with a tap with my left foot, and it almost always had to be an odd number. In a classroom, I had the repetitive thought that I couldn’t learn because everybody else’s “brainwaves” were interfering with my own. I knew the thought was illogical and for the most part, I didn’t believe it. But it did cause me to feel like I wasn’t learning to the best of my capabilities.

In the last twenty years, I have been plagued with existential questioning (who am I, what’s my purpose, am I real, how do I know others can see me, etc.). I would ruminate on these questions which eventually at the age of 17 led to a mental crisis (onset of depersonalization, which I’ll describe in a later post). In the past year, I have been obsessing over traffic patterns, occupations, you name it. I also get thoughts like “Why don’t I know everything? Why aren’t I omniscient? Why can’t I be every occupation ever thought of? Inside, I know these questions are ludicrous, but that element of doubt, of not knowing, just burns in my brain. This form of OCD is called "Pure Obsessional OCD" because there are usually no rituals or compulsions involved, just the thoughts.

Tomorrow, I will say a bit about how Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) affects me, and then on Saturday I’ll explain how writing can help ease the suffering in both of those disorders. And hopefully, by blogging about it, I’ll have to hold myself accountable and actually practice what I preach. 

Do you know somebody with OCD? How does it affect their lives?

My 5 Favorite Books about Writing

^ This is the one I'm concentrating on at the moment. It's very exercise intensive. It has a lot of freewriting and focused freewriting involved.

^ I've had this one for a while, but am only halfway finished. I plan to read this next, but from the beginning and finish it before starting another.

^ All about critiquing. Once most of my WIP is complete, I'll read this one then attend a physical critique group.

^ I've read part of this, and another of Maass's books. This one tells you how you can put that extra "umph" in your writing to stand out from the rest.


Down Here!

 This one is about how to write the "bad boys and girls" of fiction. I've read part of this. It should come in handy as I have some government bullyish types in my WIP

My Writing Nook

Welcome to my little writing nook. It’s not my ideal space, but then I haven’t had a permanent place of my own for about a year and a half. I’ve been here at this efficiency apartment for about two months now. I still need to organize a bit more; I feel almost claustrophobic. I’m going to start writing at one of the local coffee shops, the library, and even the park, once this rain finally passes over.

Feel free to leave a pic of your writing space if you’d like, or better yet, perhaps use it as a post for the blogathon.